Letters to Emeline

005.12.12 Smiley baby

Posted by Sarah to baby2,Communication,Development

Dear Mira,

In two days you will be two months old. You started smiling during the first week of life. I even captured you smiling on video when you were two weeks old. By the third week, you were smiling in response to eye contact with us on a regular basis. I never knew babies could smile so regularly, so early! You have a dimple in your right cheek, and I live for your smiles!

You are becoming increasingly alert and curious about your surroundings in addition to being increasingly responsive in your facial expressions. You are starting to “talk” to me, making elongated “aaahhhahh” sounds in happy or frustrated tones depending on your mood. You are now sleeping 7 hours a night on average.

Indoors, your hair is reddish and your eyebrows are nearly invisible. Outside, in natural light, your hair and eyebrows positively glow red. I wonder if you will be a redhead all your life, like your dad, or if you hair will change from red to another color, like your mom.

Emmy went to grandma and papa’s for a couple days. When she returned, she immediately wanted to see you, saying that she missed you. She is becoming so affectionate toward you, giving you hugs and wanting to hold you in her lap, saying “I love her!” I talk with her about the things she’ll be able to teach you and the things you’ll be able to do together when you’re older.

Sometimes when I look at you, I get a happy, excited feeling just anticipating how I will get to watch you become a person. I am so lucky!

love, your mom

004.02.12 Mira Kate

Posted by Sarah to baby2,Birthdays

Dear Mira,

Your mother fought gravity for 8 days past the due date (the 11th)! I saw the doctor on Friday the 16th and he said I had the option of inducing on Monday. Even though it was tempting, my preference was to wait until you were ready. I agreed to go in for an ultrasound on Monday so that they could make sure everything was ok. Your Grandma Maas was up during the week, helping out, and your Nana Chatterton came up that weekend. Even though I thought I was being pretty good about seeming and feeling calm, your sister was definitely picking up on the undercurrents. She had unprecedented ‘meltdowns’ and tears that week, including a night where she refused to go to bed and finally passed out on the floor next to the bed. When we tried to pick her up and put her in bed, she again put up a fight and eventually fell asleep sitting up with her head on her bed. She had a much harder time that week of waiting than she did when you officially arrived!

Sunday night, the 18th, was probably my breaking point. It felt like you were never going to be born! I wept like only a pregnant lady hauling 40 pounds 8 days past her due date could weep, while your Dad reassured me. The next morning, your Dad put on what I now think of his “birthing shirt,” the same maroon shirt he wore when Emmy was born. I knew that was his way of saying that today was the day. Not long after that, I felt a couple of strong practice contractions, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up. Those fooled me last week!

Nana decided to stay an extra day and not go to work that Monday, the 19th. It was a good thing, because by 9 am, I was definitely starting to have REAL contractions. I called the hospital to schedule the ultrasound as planned, but had a feeling I might not be making or needing that appointment! In between contractions, I had another bout of nesting, running around sweeping the floor and putting toys away. By 10:30, we were pulling out of the driveway, while Nana and Emmy waved from the deck. Nana reported that after we drove away, she and Emmy danced!

We arrived at the hospital at 11 am and you were born at 1:43 pm! I spent most of the labor in the tub and instructed your Dad to squeeze my shoulders through each contraction. One fact I learned while studying for licensure was that if you have a competing stimulus while experiencing pain, it reduces the sensation of pain. So your Dad squeezed my shoulders, and irony of ironies, that was the part that was the most sore the next day! My shoulders!

The hardest part about labor is just not knowing how long it will be. When the contractions were at their strongest, I began to entertain the idea of an epidural, because I thought it may go on for several more hours. At that point, Dr King checked and I was astonished when he reported that I was 9 cm dilated. Then the water broke and it was time to get out of the tub and push! I pushed for ten or fifteen minutes and there you were! You weren’t even crying! Your Dad was almost worried and asked the doctor if you were ok because you were so calm. We held you and stared at you in awe. You had red hair! Later we noticed a nearly symmetrical “V” right in the middle of your forehead, Dr King told us it was a ‘storkbite’ birthmark that would eventually fade. We decided the ‘V’ meant VICTORY. You were 8 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches long.

That March 19th was an 80 degree day. Everyone was wearing shorts and t shirts when they came to visit later that afternoon, your sister, Grandma and Papa, Nana and Uncle Jordan.

I felt FABULOUS, feeling mostly recovered by the next day. I don’t think I realized how brutal my first labor was until I discovered how much easier it was this time! We ended up only staying one night, and we headed home Tuesday afternoon. You are now two weeks old. You are a calm baby, exuding contentment. You only cry during diaper changes. You sleep a lot! Thankfully you sleep right through your sister’s chatter and Lucky’s barking. The nights are a blur. Currently I’m now on a schedule where I’m awake until 1 am, then you and I sleep on and off until 10 or so. I’m baffled that it is April already.

Your sister likes to help out, to look at and hold you. She seems accepting and matter of fact about your arrival in our household!

Welcome, Mira! Our family is now complete and we feel so blessed!

love, your mom

003.14.12 40 weeks

Posted by Sarah to baby2,Photo Entries

Dear baby-to-be,

Your mom is getting schooled in having to let go and realize she has no say in this process! We are now three days past the due date and it has felt like forever! Starting on Friday the 9th, I felt like I was having a lot of signs. Nausea, feeling hormonal and not quite myself, alternating between tiredness and nesting bursts of energy, twinges, stronger practice contractions, and most encouraging, being told at the doc’s Friday afternoon that I was 3 cm dilated and 75% effaced. I was sure it would be quite soon!

Finally, at 4 am on Monday the 12th, your Dad and I were measuring contractions at 5 minutes apart, lasting a minute and a half each. I began to recognize the ‘wave’ sensation of labor contractions, though the contractions themselves were not super strong yet. I thought it would be like the time, particularly since labor was starting at 4 am and five minutes apart just like Emmy’s did. Your grandma came down on Sunday and was staying with us, so we didn’t need to wake up Emmy. We hopped into the car and drove to the hospital in the dark, with a moon in the sky that looked just like the profile of a pregnant belly.

We got to the hospital, checked in. A beautiful, sunny day started to dawn outside, again just like with Emmy’s birth. I looked at the hospital bassinet where you would be placed right after birth and imagined meeting you soon. Then contractions began to slow down! There were a few more stronger ones, but then they petered out! One doctor said I was 4 cm dilated, then an hour later 5 cm dilated. But then another said I was probably more like 2-3 cm. Your uncle Jordan came up. We were at the hospital six hours, then sent home. We went out to lunch and ate outside in the warm sun.

Since then I have been resting and waiting! It has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for your dad and myself! The last two nights, Emmy had very uncharacteristic meltdowns at bedtime. She keeps saying that her eyes hurt or her head. She doesn’t want to go to sleep and cried long and hard, which she never does! Last night she ended up asleep on the floor, then another crying phase when we tried to move her into her bed. She then fell asleep sitting up with her head down on her bed.

Emmy seemed in a much better mood today and has gone back with Grandma to their house for a couple days. This was a little rough on me, but she was excited to go, and it definitely helps since I’m pretty tired out today! I was up late, feeling some contractions and you were moving around like crazy. I just have to keep reminding myself that you will come when ready and there’s no need to worry. You are teaching me that you are your own individual right from the get go and I better not be comparing your birth, or you, to your sister! When you get here, our family will be complete!

love,Mom

003.06.12 37-39 weeks

Posted by Sarah to baby2

Dear baby to be,

During weeks 37 and 38, I was sick as a dog! A severe cough and cold that lasted forever! Emmy, Daddy and Grandma all caught it too. Emmy was pretty sick for a few days, but fortunately no one else had it as badly as I did! Thankfully, by the 39th week, my energy has returned and I was very lucky to have the timing of a week and a half February vacation so I didn’t have to work. I was able to recover and begin to get the house ready for your arrival. We celebrated your Dad’s birthday on Sunday and he was hoping you might make an appearance, but it isn’t time yet!

I used one of my massage gift certificates from my birthday and got one a few days ago. I got a massage and this reiki chakra alignment thing too, which I’ve never tried before. It was really interesting- there was definite heat and energy radiating from this woman’s hands. You were incredibly active during that whole hour.

The last couple days I’ve been catching up on all my notes at work. Tomorrow is my final day of catching up, then I’m done. Maternity leave is officially scheduled for 3/8/12. I suppose I could keep going into work until you are actually born, but that’s just ridiculous. No woman should have to do that. There needs to be time to relax and be ready. When I finished things up at work on August 14, 2009 and knew that I wouldn’t have to go back in, labor with Emmy started that night. I wonder if something similar might happen this week! Or… you might choose to stay inside for another two weeks! I really hope not though!

love, mom

003.06.12 36 weeks

Posted by Sarah to baby2

Dear baby to be,

Oh my goodness! Suddenly the end (beginning) is near!

Writing entries had fallen by the wayside while I studied..and studied and exercised this brain harder than I have ever exercised it in my life for the single purpose of passing the psychology boards. From beginning to end of those months of studying, you grew right along. You kicked and wiggled while I took the test. You jumped with me when I jumped with joy when I found out I passed. Maybe all the studying means you will have an extra large noggin! We shall see..

My hip pain went away during the second trimester. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my belly ballooned rapidly. I had a scare where I tested high on the gestational diabetes sugar test and had to go back in for a three hour test. To my relief, those results were normal. I experienced a migraine aura for the first time (left side of my vision vanished!), followed by a minor headache. No other symptoms since then! You carry much lower than your sister did. I craved eggs, and more recently, grapefruit. I drink half a gallon of milk a day. We still have a little less than a month to go, but I look like I could give birth TOMORROW! Starting to get just a little tired of all the comments about how big I am! Even your sister thinks so.

Emmy: You’re heavy.

Me: I’m heavy??

Emmy: Yes. And big!

love, Mom

012.26.11 A Note from Grandma

Posted by Steve to Family Visits

Thanks for the calendar! I’m happy to see some of my favorite photos in it!

See you soon!

Love Grandma and Papa

011.15.11 22 weeks

Posted by Sarah to Photo Entries,Uncategorized

Dear baby to be,

You are growing and thriving! I had fun featuring you in my Halloween costume:

I’ve been having this sporadic pain in my right back hip. Online research has found that “posterior pelvic pain” fits the symptoms perfectly and it is common during pregnancy. These are the things that cause or make the pain worse: rolling, twisting, turning, bending, walking, sitting, running and climbing stairs. You know, just pretty much every posture and movement I make every moment of everyday!

I have been going over lots of baby names. I even scour the credits after movies and class lists at school to get ideas for names. It’s hard to find just the right uncommon, original name that isn’t too confusing to pronounce or spell. Your Dad shoots down most of my ideas so we’ve got some hashing out to do (:

love, Mom

011.11.11 Rake

Posted by Steve to Communication

Dear Emeline,

The other day, you pointed at a rake and said, “Wassat?”

I said, “That’s a rake.”

“Yeah,” you replied, nodding, “to pull da leebz.”

At which point my heart turned into a rainbow and exploded.

Love,

Daddy

011.06.11 Colchester Pond

Posted by Steve to Outings,Pets

Dear Emeline,

Today, your mother and I took you for a hike. We went to Colchester Pond. Our dog Lucky came with us. You had been there once before, but I think it was before you were walking, so you certainly didn’t remember it. This was a whole new experience for you.

On the way there, we stopped at the field up the road to let Lucky do his business. You got a little excited there, because we’ve been taking our walks in that area a lot. I had to explain to you that we were going to “different woods,” a phrase which you internalized and repeated about ten times on the rest of the car trip. Our route took us past the playground, which both you and Lucky recognized. You both got worked up again upon seeing that, and you voiced your hope aloud that we would be stopping at the “paydown.” Alas, it was not to be.

You pretty much ran full tilt through the entire first half of the hike. Lately you only have two speeds when we go on walks: Fast and Not at All. You ripped up the first part of the hike like it was nothing, tearing through the fields and clambering up the hills in the woods. Occasionally you slipped on the leaves, but you almost never complain when you fall unless there is actual injury.

Once we hit the halfway point, things started to get a little more difficult. There was quite a lot of climbing to do and your mother and I had forgotten just how far this hike was. The second half, along the far side of the pond, found us alternating between coaxing you to walk, picking you up, putting you down, holding your hand, not holding your hand and repeating the cycle over and over. You know when you need a rest, and you don’t have any qualms about showing us.

In the end, though, you walked 90% of the hike yourself — and it ended up being about three miles! When you got to the car, you echoed your mother’s sentiment gleefully, shouting “I did it! I did it!”

You’re an impressive kid.

Love, Daddy

010.23.11 You are Here!

Posted by Steve to Communication,Development

Dear Emeline,

It’s a been a while since I posted something on your site. I’ve been thinking lately about how that gap might appear to you if you read these entries years from now. I would like to just explain that it is not due to any drop-off in focus on you. In fact, the reason is just the opposite. So much of what I wrote here in the early months of your life was speculation, musing about your future and our future together. Then, all of a sudden it seemed, you exploded in a burst of development and skyrocketing cognitive growth. Ever since you passed the 18-month mark, you have been a whirlwind of action, learning and life.

I initially used these letters as a way to communicate with you before you could communicate, I now realize. I wanted very much to know who you would become and to interact with you on a deeper level, but you were still a baby and you weren’t yet ready to be able to do that. Now, though, we have entire conversations! We talk about options and preferences and memories, and we make up stories together to act out with your toys. You are a whole new you, who is completely engrossing and takes up almost all of my focus when we spend time together — which is a lot!

As a result of that amazing surge of growth, I have felt the need to write here less often because I get so much of the connection I yearned for when you were younger. It’s here — you are here! You are my favorite little person, and I get to play with you every day! Why spend time writing to you when I can just pick you up and tickle you, and you’ll laugh and ask for more?

But I do still value these letters as a way of communicating with your future self and expressing myself to you in a little more sophistication than you are yet equipped to follow. So I will keep writing, and reminding myself to do so.

I love you,

Daddy

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